DeMint de Man in Man’s World

By DuncanRhys C. Liancourt

––Man us men are lucky to have a man’s man like Jim DeMint in the Senate. He’s a man of action who wants to “take our country back,” as Lynne P. Shackleford quotes him in the Spartanburg church rally piece. Good for him, none of this negotiating, touchy-feely, listening to other people and considering their points of view sissy stuff. Where a woman might ask for her country back, or try to win it back with smart, thoughtful policies that make lives better a man like DeMint goes right for the timeless rape and pillage––just TAKE it, man. It worked, after all, for the Romans, the Huns, the Conquistadors, Big Oil, and Wall Street.

DeMint is manly but fair, treating straight women and gays equally. Shackleford writes that, “DeMint said if someone is openly homosexual, they shouldn’t be teaching in the classroom and he holds the same position on an unmarried woman who’s sleeping with her boyfriend––she shouldn’t be in the classroom.” Major manly plan: instead of repealing Don’t ask-Don’t tell in the military extend it to all of society, GRRRRR. The gays and the unchaste women should keep their teaching private, in the bedroom not the classroom.

You just know that some special rights lobbyist will cry foul and call this paragon of manly virtue a misogynist for not saying unmarried men who are sleeping with their girlfriends should also stay out of the classroom. Most likely the whiny name caller is a woman or a homosexual who, since not qualified to teach children, has no business questioning a manly male Senator. And DeMint gave the perfect out––the homos just can’t be “open” and the chicks just need to get married or stop having sex if they want a cushy, high-paying public school teaching gig. They just need to man up and do the right thing and DeMint will have their backs.

DeMint is a real man who knows what the right thing is for everyone and says and does the right thing, even when people don’t have his back. “(When I said those things,) no one came to my defense. But everyone would come to me and whisper that I shouldn’t back down. They don’t want government purging their rights and their freedom of religion.” It is so unfair that people who have chosen, thanks to their freedom of religion, to join the same or a similar religion as the one DeMint has selected should feel they have to whisper their support.

If it’s DeMint’s religion it must be a manly one so its holy book, its beliefs and commandments should apply to all people regardless of what their religion says. It seems like one could argue that, since there is freedom of choice in religion, freedom to join or not join any church at all (since the government is not allowed to establish a religion for all) it seems then that people not worshipping the way DeMint worships are also applying their freedom of religion, but this is sissy talk. DeMint is a man who knows that “politics only works when we’re realigned with our Savior.” Clearly DeMint is aligned with his Savior, who must then be everyone’s Savior. Maybe there are other men manly enough to question DeMint, but certainly no homo or unmarried female of the species could know what he, she, or it is talking about. DeMint has the courage to tell it like it is––the world is a straight boy’s club where the straight boys get to take what jobs and pleasure they want and are the only ones worthy to train future generations. Grrrrrrrr.

3 Responses to “DeMint de Man in Man’s World”
  1. What’s with you women speaking–commenting on the DeMint piece– before being spoken to? DeMint would never allow that, and he de man.

  2. Clare Keller says:

    I’ll just second your GRRRRRRRRRRR!

  3. How about a married woman sleeping with someone else’s husband? Or a married man sleeping with an unmarried woman? Or a married man sleeping with another married man (to whom he is not married)? Or a married woman sleeping with another married woman (to whom she is not married)? Or what about a married woman who *isn’t* sleeping with anyone? I could go on and on, with all sorts of combinations and permutations – I sure hope DeMint can give me guidance on all of them. If he can’t, DuncanRhys, I humbly beg you to guide me…

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