“Going With The Wind,” and other Never Released Prequels, Part 3

By DuncanRhys C. Liancourt

––Going with the Wind––A woman and a man, having been told about one another by friends of friends, write introductory letters to one another: she likes frightening puppies, extorting one of a kind family heirlooms from besotted men, and long palanquin rides about her plantation; he is fond of slapping the buttocks of the household servants––male as well as female, insouciantly knocking cigar ashes onto other people’s carpets, and sending prank telegrams to the Lincoln White House. Both introductory letters are lost en route, however, by a half-wit postal carrier who left his satchel open during a windstorm while he ducked behind a nearby hedge to flog the bishop.

Taxi Mechanic––A dyslexic young man from farm country works as a taxi mechanic in New Jersey while trying to save up enough money and gather up enough courage to visit New York City.

Forgetting Nemo––A touching father-son saga featuring Nemo, a boy clownfish, whose parents suffer a miscommunication about whose turn it is to pick Nemo up from school. Nemo’s parents realize––after eating dinner, clearing the table, necking in the powder room, and sitting down to watch their favorite reality show, “Sarah Palin’s Shark Vendetta”––that Nemo must still be at school and Nemo’s father must go out in the cold and miss his show to retrieve his son before child services catches on. If they have to pay another fine they won’t be able to afford Vegas and he’ll never get his anemone tickled again if the Mrs. Misses her slots.

Three Men and a Parakeet––Three infantile, video game playing, slovenly, self-centered, overweight, and self-satisfied bachelors see themselves as irresistible to women yet begin to wonder why they haven’t been getting any dates. Deciding that women would be impressed with their empathy and nurturing skills if they rescued and rehabilitated a pet, the men buy a parakeet, cover it with dirt and break some of its feathers, then agree on the touching story they’ll tell the ladies.

One Circled Around the Cuckoo’s Nest––A brash young rebel is convicted of exposing himself to some nuns whom he believes stole his parking space and is sentenced to community service at a mental institution. On his way in on the first day he can’t resist exposing himself to a young, pretty nurse who is on her way to the parking lot. She is so impressed that she agrees to forge his community service documents in exchange for a quickie in her car.



One Response to ““Going With The Wind,” and other Never Released Prequels, Part 3”
  1. Laura says:

    I love it! If I ever write a paper about “Gone With the Wind” I’ll cite “Going With the Wind” as one of my scholarly authorities 🙂

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