Democratic Memos from Lame Duck’s Last Day

By DuncanRhys C. Liancourt

––Man that was a great nap. I’ve heard twenty minutes is good but I can tell you two years will really refresh you without that icky drowsy feeling.

Listen Mitch, we know you’re busy but you’ve got to meet with the president, don’t you? If you reschedule your meeting on bipartisan cooperation again it wont happen until the new Republican House takes over, and we know that’s not what you want.

If we had had our own secret C street frat house to keep watch on each other’s taxes we wouldn’t be stuck wrangling Rangel.

The Learning Channel’s new sister channel, The Last Gasp, will approve only one of our reality show ideas. Which do you think will do better against “Sarah Palin’s Alaska”: “Evan Bayhoplasty,” which tries to surgically construct Evan a personality; “Spine Swap,” in which lucky Democrats trade spines with lemurs; “The Most Surprised Loser;” or “So You Think You Can Govern”?

Has Clarence Thomas said anything yet? It’s so hard to be sure of where he stands, and we don’t want to start looking for a potential future candidate who might seem too liberal.

My invite to the BP New Year’s party finally came!

So those deficit-raising, China-loaned Bush tax cuts were really set to expire huh? That seems kind of like a booby trap.

Couldn’t we have insisted that the DADT report on the military be done in 8 months instead of ten? Well, insist is a bit harsh, but we could have requested, don’t you think?

Russia will still tell us how many nukes they have, right?

I tried to visit my niece in Dallas but Rick Perry had me picked up by Texas State Troopers at baggage claim and driven over the border to Oklahoma.

Did you know it’s illegal to take Rick Perry’s name in vain in Oklahoma?

Karzai said to stop meddling and just send the money, just wants the deal Pakistan gets.

One Response to “Democratic Memos from Lame Duck’s Last Day”
  1. Laura says:

    Political theatre these days has completely devolved into reality TV. I’d love to hear more about those shows you referenced. “The most surprised loser” is sure to be a massive hit.

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