Something Old, Something New, Something degraded, and Something Untrue

By DuncanRhys C. Liancourt

––In the spirit of holding accountable the parties in a marriage of inconceivable inconvenience to the American people the following untoast.

Sarah Palin mistakes Facebook for Factbook, believes whatever she posts becomes true.

Sarah Palin after seeing “The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader 3D: I knew I was receiving divine inspiration just for me when objects seemed to reach out toward me from the screen.

Sarah Palin relates to the Narnia stories because she also traveled through someone else’s wardrobe to her destiny.

Remind me, did the lion quit being governor of Narnia half way through his term to do reality TV?

Sarah Palin wants to spin off her show “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” into the fashion world: “Sarah Palin’s Caribou Marabou.”

I hear there will be a spin off of  “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” called “Mama Grizzly Swap.”

Sarah Palin signed a letter against repealing DADT: She’s just bitter that Levi Johnston was not a closeted gay man.

Sarah Palin, happening to overhear someone reading a news story about scientists’ discovery of a new arsenic-based life form, asked an aid to find out which caliber rifle she should use to hunt it.

John McCain’s sudden opposition––in conflict with his own record, the Pentagon report, logic, science, and a majority of Americans––to repeal of DADT (don’t ask, don’t tell) is clearly related to NASA’s discovery of an arsenic-based life form that does not live by the usual earthly rules––he thinks he doesn’t have to live by earthly rules either.

John McCain welcomes the newly discovered arsenic-based life form, as long as he doesn’t have to hear about how hot it finds other arsenic-based life forms.

We need a Parseltongue translator to understand John McCain on DADT; unfortunately the trustworthy ones are all in hiding because they’re gay.

Discovery of an arsenic-based life form makes John McCain only the 2nd bitterest entity on Earth.

NASA finds alien life form in CA and people wonder if McCain will demand a new border wall, but he only wants to know if they are a gay life form.

Where did McCain get the idea to ask military subordinates their thoughts on DADT, did Sarah Palin finally ask him for his thoughts on something?

Adam Serwer wonders about John McCain, in opposition to repealing DADT, citing a Colin Powell statement from 1993, with which Colin Powell no longer agrees. It’s really very simple: this McCain is actually the 1993 McCain; he had Christine O’Donnell cast a spell to age him backwards.

John McCain’s mouth is dishonorably discharging over DADT.

Sarah Palin and John McCain’s new reality show gets the green light at FOX; titled after a classic 1934 film, it’s called “Factuality Takes A Holiday.”

One Response to “Something Old, Something New, Something degraded, and Something Untrue”
  1. Laura says:

    We all need to think about Sarah Palin alot less.

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