If Marriage is Sacred Shouldn’t We Sacrifice to Bridezilla?

By DuncanRhys C. Liancourt

––The National Organization for Marriage’s Maggie Gallagher says defeat of Prop 8 would mean “end of marriage as we know it in all 50 states.” too bad for Newt Gingrich’s would-be 4th wife.

The National Organization for Marriage joins the Family Research Council’s Tony Perkins in “refudiating” its addition to the Southern Poverty Law Center’s updated list of hate groups. NOM’s Brian Brown thinks warning people about hate groups like his is a distraction from helping poor people. Right, because poor people are never hurt by hate groups.

Florida pardons Jim Morrison while Senate fails to repeal DADT (Don’t ask, Don’t tell): even dead rock stars have more rights than gays and lesbians risking their lives for their country.

Susan Collins, with her patently untenable procedural demands for DADT repeal, is merely the Lucius Malfoy of Death Eaters bumbling meanly along behind Voldemccain (McCainemort).

Susan Collins, finally assimilated after years of resisting the Borg collective known as the GOP, says 17 years is not quite enough time to decide DADT.

DADT repeal fails because the Senate failed to negotiate a process to process negotiations for bringing it up for proper process of negotiation.

American Infantilism: bunch of grown men sitting snugly in Washington worrying about which soldiers might take an innocent peak at which other soldiers’ junk.

As long as Santa brings Joe Manchin that world peace Joe asked for he’ll vote for repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

Scott Brown voted against repeal of DADT after saying he’d vote for it before he actually voted for it; does that make him bisexual, transgendered, or merely a prick with no direction?

Two marines, Dirk and Kirk, separated from their squad in an act of brave self sacrifice are now surrounded and under heavy fire from a take-no-prisoners enemy.

Dirk: This doesn’t look good, man (fires his weapon).

Kirk: (also firing) I’m out, that was the last round.

Dirk: I’m out too.

Kirk: Maybe if we fake surrender we can take a couple with us, hand to hand.

Dirk: Shit, man! When I’m dead all my shit will really hot the fan.

Kirk: What do you mean?

Dirk: I won’t get to write to my wife and explain some shit.

Kirk: That’s the only thing I mind, that I can’t say goodbye to Gregg, and that

our families don’t even know we’re together so he’ll suffer alone.

Dirk: You’re fucking gay! Fucking gross!

Kirk: And after 8 years together Gregg may not even get to come to my

funeral, that’s what’s gross. What do you wish you could explain

to your wife?

Dirk: I just want her to know that the affairs and the case of gonorrhea don’t

mean I’m like a bad husband and shit, and that the assault charge is

totally fake since I never slapped that slut of a waitress.

2 Responses to “If Marriage is Sacred Shouldn’t We Sacrifice to Bridezilla?”
  1. Laura says:

    So completely agree! The only thing grosser than people who declare bankruptcy whilst keeping the Beemer are people who spend what could be their down payment on a house, their parents retirement fund and their children’s educational fund on rings, cake and a dress they’ll never wear again.

  2. Clare Keller says:

    I’ll tick #3 to describe our junior Senator

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