The Omnibama Game

By DuncanRhys C. Liancourt

––Republicans who want to repeal Health Care Reform have re-christened it “Obamacare.” This rebranding effort (a specialty of the GOP, recall “death panels”) has already seen success reframing the debate over much needed health care reforms so that Democrats and Independents are on the defensive and chances of at least partial repeal are rising. Indeed, efforts to defund parts of Health Care Reform are already underway.

For Americans with little or no health insurance who suffer needlessly and swamp our emergency room; for those with serious conditions insurance companies refuse to cover; for disabled people and others who routinely suffer discrimination in care; for small businesses struggling to stay afloat and keep their workers covered; for the elderly, children, the very poor, vets, and other Americans often underinsured and lacking advocates, the framing of this debate is vital, yet the issues at stake are trivialized when Republicans misrepresent such a broad reform effort as one man’s pet project, no matter that the man is our president.

Bummer, right? But for those with no health or health care worries there is a silver lining, a take away lesson that can help you use your fellow citizens as booster steps to improve your own lot. Simply rebrand all your albatrosses, those noxious thorns in your side, those tiresomely antiquated millstones around your neck, all those unfair crosses you bear, and many of them will peel themselves from your fair, unblemished, Mayflower descended skin and blow away like a dark cloud sent back across the ocean by a pure and righteous wind. Here’s how it’s done.

When in traffic court trying to get out of paying that ticket for parking your SUV in a handicapped spot, begin every response to the judge with, “regarding the Obamaticket left on my vehicle,” or, “the Obamaviolation in question.”

Before enclosing a check for those real estate taxes, send the form back with a letter pointing to the inflating of your Obamavaluation and request an easement to the patently exaggerated Obamassessment.

Write to your child’s school to say that the Obamatuition increase they’ve deemed necessary is in your view an unfair redistribution of wealth. Tell them you’ll pay the old tuition and they should get the rest from the public Obamaschool system since it is clearly a waste of tax payer money to keep educating kids who are 17th in the industrialized world anyway.

To prevent your elderly, mother losing her driver’s license thereby necessitating your playing chauffer or having her move in, march into the DMV and shout, “my mother’s an American citizen and doesn’t need no Obamalicense to drive the car she bought on the roads she’s paid for!”

Should your lover get the notion to tell your marital partner the sordid details of your affair, including how you “borrowed” some funds from the office to cover your tracks, unless you get his or her charges dropped, you need only tell the DA’s office that the Obamacharges will never fly, and that should some corrupt Obamajudge find differently the Obamaconviction’s certain overturning will be a huge career-halting embarrassment.

Finally, should someone imply that you are not facing reality merely put forth the rejoinder that since they are referencing Obamareality rather than real reality, that since Obamareality has only Obamarules and Obamalaws, you are not obligated to accede to any of their Obamawishes, then send them on their merry Obamaway. If they will not depart you may invoke Obamagravity and fly away.

Comments
2 Responses to “The Omnibama Game”
  1. Laura, I knew you would be familiar with some real iterations of this trend. It’s been going on since Obama won the nomination, and of course his name was used directly against him even before that. It is a seemingly obvious ploy that is in actuality quite insidious. Perhaps we need to start talking about Boehnerderegulation and McConnellobfuscation.

  2. Laura says:

    Your Obama(blanks) are meant to be an absurd critique, but go out to Nevada and you’ll see people already do this quite routinely. It’s part of the very successful rebranding of conservatism from the stoggy old idea of personal responsibilty to the new ethos of demanding everything for nothing and insisting that it is only the weaker and implicitly impaired democrat world view that requires privileges and amenities be paid for at some point down the line.

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