A Page from ‘the Homosexual Agenda’

By DuncanRhys C. Liancourt   7:00 am – Very funny. 9:30 am – “Excuse me, dude, wake-up; that’s it, stud, wake-up. Yes, good morning to you too, Tom––right, Gary, whatever. You’ve got to go, I have a busy day. No, I don’t want to cuddle, Jesus. I can’t believe I let you stay just because … Continue reading

Relig-otician Roy Moore For Prophident 2012: Or, When a Burning Bush Speaks You’d Better Make Tablets

By DuncanRhys C. Liancourt ––Hallelujah! There is a chance this country can be saved now that Roy Moore (hallowed be his name) is considering the presidency. I say “considering the presidency” rather than “thinking about running for the Republican nomination” because should a mortal as close to god as Roy Moore throw in his hat … Continue reading

Endeavor Not To Mangle Your Friend’s Car

By DuncanRhys C. Liancourt Endeavor not to mangle your friend’s car, Because to you both it will bring much fuss; Keep it safe from your gate’s treacherous bar.   Though you’ve parked here without making a scar, There may be dangers that you fail to suss; Endeavor not to mangle your friend’s car.   Fret … Continue reading

Pack your Kevlar: Utah is for State Gun Lovers

By DuncanRhys C. Liancourt   ––Utah, which flag includes its state flower the Sego Lily––a symbol of peace––has designated a semiautomatic pistol, the Browning M1911, as its state gun, making the beehive state the first state to symbolize itself with any kind of killing device. Is this an effort to confound future symbologists who must, … Continue reading

7 States that Need a Time-Out

By DuncanRhys C. Liancourt ––According to the Child Development Institute “Time-out means time out from positive reinforcement (rewarding experiences). It is a procedure used to decrease undesirable behaviors.” We love all of our 50 states equally––well, we love them at any rate and wouldn’t trade them for the world (maybe for Luxembourg)––but lately some of … Continue reading

Newtifications for your Indiscretions

By DuncanRhys C. Liancourt   ––Newt Gingrich suffers from patriolatry, the excessive devotion or worship of his native country, as he recently explained when asked about his history of adultery. “There’s no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and … Continue reading

Georgia’s Peachiness for Women in Doubt

By DuncanRhys C. Liancourt ––First reported on February 3rd by DLCC.org and followed up on by a variety of organizations: Georgia state legislator Bobby Franklin wants to change the legal term for victims of rape, stalking, and domestic violence to ‘accuser.’ Victims of burglary, assault, and fraud would remain ‘victims.’   The following, observed by … Continue reading

Real Sportsmen Worry about the Popping Crease

By DuncanRhys C. Liancourt   ––An American footballer visiting the UK saw a polo player readying for a match and asked, “what’s that?” The polo player answered, “the polo pony I ride when I play polo.” The American athlete put on his best mock serious expression and responded, “so you need another animal between your … Continue reading