Trump World: Where Trumpvictions Trump Reality

By DuncanRhys C. Liancourt

––Trump decided not to compete for the Presidency of the United States despite expressing how desperately it needs his help, but he need not try, apparently, to know he would have won: “I maintain the strong conviction that if I were to run, I would be able to win the primary and ultimately, the general election.”[1]

There is a guy at my gym who clearly maintains a strong conviction that he does not have horrendous body odor but so far his tenacious certainty has been unable to trump my olfactory powers. Maybe he needs to believe harder. Does Trump mentor people in convictionation as well as what he likes to call business?

Last week I walked past a construction site then stopped to look back when I heard whistles, snorts, and comments like “no need to go out for lunch, we got supersize meals right here.” I was wearing a new pair of jeans that I felt were quite flattering, but, alas, there was a young woman behind me who was the object of these men’s dysfunction. While they maintained their strong conviction that their attentions were welcome, or that they were just having some harmless fun, or that they were not repellent sexual predators, I got out my phone and told the woman I was noting the name of the contractor and was at her service as witness. She declined my card but thanked me profoundly and seemed relieved, cheered, and even emboldened by the offer. But perhaps I was merely convinced that was how she felt.

Donald Trump, I feel sure, would hold the strong conviction that his spoiled Pekingese dog, were he to enter it, would be able to win the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show––in the Working Dog category. I don’t actually have to ask him, you see, because he has already said that he, were he to enter, would be able to win the race for the Presidency which currently has in it one serious worker with a proven record. Also, my conviction that he would feel this way is quite strong.

[1] Posted to The Blaze (dot com) by Jonathon M. Seidl May 16th 2011 at 12:56 pm.

4 Responses to “Trump World: Where Trumpvictions Trump Reality”
  1. I knew he wasn’t going to run. Is this his third time pawing at the starting gate.
    I am convinced my company is bigger than David Yurman and that I will soon be retiring in the arms of Johnny Depp. I’m smiling now. “Kiss me Johnny”.

  2. Indeed, Laura, why study or cultivate relationships when all you need is the strong conviction that you are smart, that you got a 4.0 GPA, that you were Valedictorian, most popular, that you are beloved, respected, needed, and irreplaceable?

  3. Laura says:

    …and maybe it’s a good time to mention that Trump never graduated first in his class from Wharton’s school of business, rather he graduated from Wharton undergrad, after completing his first 2 years at Fordham.

    I don’t really have a point to make, I just like to mention that.

  4. Laura says:

    Trumps convictions were also strong enough to convince him that the President, whose transcripts he’s never seen, had terrible grades.

    And yet, here we are with the President still the President and Trump not even clever enough to pretend to be interested in the job for more than 3 weeks.

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