Eau de Pope

From The Telegraph 3-14-12: Perfume created for Pope Benedict XVI. After Sarah Jessica Parker, Eva Mendez, and Katy Perry comes the Pope––a signature eau de cologne has been created for the leader of the world’s 1.2 billion Catholics. Unlike celebrity perfumes adorned with pictures of breathless Hollywood starlets, this one will not be available to … Continue reading

Apps That Help You Avoid Shit

If you want to skip the “bad parts of town” without taxing your street smarts Microsoft will soon have the app for you. What has been dubbed their ‘Avoid Ghetto’ GPS App will mine local violent crime statistics to keep you from even glimpsing an undesirable corner or person, or the other people or businesses … Continue reading

The Twelve Wars of Christmas

On the first war of Christmas, the right wing promised me… A future fully tax-free.   On the second war of Christmas, the right wing promised me… 2 all white clubs And a future fully tax-free.   On the third war of Christmas, the right wing promised me… 3 judges’ heads 2 all white clubs … Continue reading

Breaking: Election 2016 GOP Talking Points Leaked

Dateline: October 2, 2016. The Republican National Committee (RNC) will not confirm or deny reports that its email was hacked, but has confirmed that talking points on next month’s presidential election intended to reach only a few hundred influential Republicans were obtained by multiple media outlets: When asked about polar bears in leading ways, such … Continue reading

Project Gunway: Republican Presidential Candidates Walk the Bloody Carpet

Good evening and welcome, Adam’s non-evolved sons and daughters, to “Bloody Carpet 2012”, Project Gunway’s first presidential candidate fashion show and fundraiser. Before we start, I want to assure you that no tax dollars are being spent to bring you this blessed event. Our tent, security, all the refreshments, and even our runway’s one-of-a-kind bloody … Continue reading

The Unexpected Guest

Six of us, guests of the friend hosting the dinner party, were playfully jostling for seats at the table when our jovial cacophony was hushed by a rapping at the door.  The door was located such that when our host opened it all could see the, as it were, rapper. She said she was named … Continue reading

I Am the Very Model of a Milit’ry Misogynist

{From ThinkProgress.org: ALLEN WEST REFUSES TO APOLOGIZE, BLAMES MILITARY BACKGROUND FOR HIS INSULTING REMARKS | Facing a barrage of criticism, Rep. Allen West (R-FL) remains defiant and says he won’t apologize to DNC Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-FL) for a disparaging email in which he called her “vile, unprofessional, and despicable” and “not a lady.” On Fox Business Network … Continue reading

Act Like A Lady Tonight

To the tune of “Luck Be A Lady” Based on this news: Allen West tirade: Wasserman Schultz ‘vile…despicable…not a Lady’ Florida GOP Congressman Allen West this afternoon dispatched a scathing personal email to Democratic National Committee Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz, calling her “vile, unprofessional ,and despicable,” “a coward,” “characterless,” and “not a Lady,” and demanding that … Continue reading

Bosoms, and Boobies, and Breasts! Oh, My!

First, let me assure you that I like women’s breasts at least as much as the next gay man. About half of my friends have breasts, and I’m always happy to give an opinion on how well they are supported, dressed (I prefer them dressed), and accessorized. I have received more than a few thank-yous––and … Continue reading

Barbarians at the Gate, with Canapés

I agree completely with Christian counselor Marcus Bachmann––2012 Grand Old Party (Republican) presidential candidate Michele Bachmann’s husband––that barbarians need to be educated. The Daily Beast’s David A. Graham reported June 15th on Michele Bachmann’s First Dude’s discussion of homosexuality during a radio interview in which he said “Barbarians need to be educated, they need to … Continue reading